Let’s start with what I used to know about menopause. Here goes: menopause is when a woman stops having her periods. One day, she turns 50, the bleeding stops, she’s no longer fertile, and that’s it. Life goes on.
Embarrassing, I know. But hear me out. We don’t really talk about these things, and since I’m still a while away from it myself, it just never occurred to me to dig deeper. It was one of those things I quietly filed away for “someday”. Right next to figuring out how a tax-free savings account works and finally sorting my Tupperware cupboard. Out of sight, out of mind.
But here’s the thing. I can count a lot of women around me right now who are either currently going through menopause or starting to feel the early signs. And suddenly, this doesn’t feel like a far-off event anymore. It’s here. It’s around me. It’s affecting people I care about. Emotionally, physically, mentally. And yet, we still don’t really talk about it. Not openly, not often, and definitely not with the same casual ease we give to things like period pain or pregnancy cravings. And honestly, it feels like a conversation we all should be having every day and not just when it knocks on our own door, but well before that.
So I’ve started paying a little more attention. Not that the menopause topic comes up often, but when it does, even in passing, I really listen. A comment here, a complaint there; just enough to make me curious. And wow, have I not learned things? Things I absolutely should have known by now. Because how else am I supposed to prepare myself for when this chapter of life begins? I was probably going to walk into a doctor’s office one day, list a bunch of weird symptoms, and have them casually tell me it’s menopause. And honestly wow! We deserve to know what’s coming, to understand our own bodies, and to talk about it without awkwardness or shame.
With that said, here’s what I know about menopause now: it’s not like flipping a switch then boom, no more periods, the end. It’s a process. A slow, gradual change that can take years. This change is called perimenopause and it’s a full stage of its own, packed with symptoms, surprises, and shifts that deserve just as much attention as menopause itself. So it makes perfect sense that every conversation about menopause really begins here. At perimenopause.
What is perimenopause? Perimenopause is the transition phase leading up to menopause, usually starting a few years before your periods stop completely. During this time, your body starts to produce less estrogen, triggering a series of changes, both physical and emotional. This phase often begins in a woman’s 40s, though it can sometimes sneak up as early as the mid-30s. And depending on who you are ( because we’re all different), it can stick around for about four years or even a decade.
And here are a few things ( not in detail) you might experience that could be a sign it’s time to pay attention:
Irregular periods
If your cycle is starting to feel like a guessing game… sometimes early, sometimes late, sometimes just skipping altogether… It could be a sign that perimenopause is starting. Some women experience heavier periods, while others notice them becoming lighter or shorter. The inconsistency can be pretty confusing.
Hot flashes
One minute, you’re fine. The next, you’re suddenly hit with a wave of heat, as if your body is malfunctioning. It’s not just you being dramatic; these sudden bursts of warmth are very real.
Sleep troubles
You might feel exhausted but still find yourself wide awake at 3 a.m., staring at the ceiling. Or maybe you fall asleep only to wake up sweating in the middle of the night. Apparently, sleep disruptions are a common part of this phase.
Mood swings
You could find yourself feeling emotional, irritated, or anxious for no clear reason. From what I’ve heard, this rollercoaster of moods is a big part of the hormonal changes that come with perimenopause.
Brain fog
You know the feeling of forgetting why you walked into a room, misplacing your phone, or losing your train of thought mid-sentence? That could be perimenopause messing with your mental clarity.
Lower libido
If your desire for sex starts to dip, or if you just don’t feel as interested as you used to, it’s not just in your head. Hormones play a big role in this shift as well.
It’s always important to remember that this phase is just the beginning of a much bigger journey, a reminder that you’re transitioning into something new and powerful.
Once you’ve made it through the twists and turns of perimenopause, the big milestone eventually arrives: menopause. This is the official end of your menstrual cycle, marked by going a full 12 months without a period. That’s it. That’s menopause. Simply put, it’s when your periods have stopped for a year straight, signaling the end of your reproductive years.
At this point, the levels of estrogen and progesterone in your body drop significantly, introducing a whole new wave of changes. The good news? These changes signal the end of one chapter and the start of another. You’re officially done with your reproductive years, and your body is settling into a new rhythm.
And that rhythm? It’s called postmenopause. I know. Just when you thought the naming was done, there’s one more stage to meet. This phase follows menopause and unline perimenopause, which is all ups and downs, it tends to be more stable. Hormone levels have settled at their new, lower baseline, and while some symptoms might linger (like the occasional hot flash or mood dip), many women find that things start to even out.
That said, this stage still comes with things to keep in mind. With less estrogen in the picture, your body’s needs shift. Bone health, heart health, vaginal dryness… these might become part of the conversation. But with the right information, support, and care, postmenopause can be a time of confidence, clarity, and honestly, relief. No more periods. No more guessing games. Just you, learning to work with your new normal.
So, if menopause once felt like a distant, mysterious event filed away next to retirement plans and tax-free savings accounts, hopefully it feels a little clearer now. It’s not just one moment. It’s a whole journey made up of transitions, shifts, and learning curves. And while it might come with its fair share of challenges, it also brings wisdom, perspective, and a new kind of freedom. The more we talk about it, the less confusing and isolating it becomes. So here’s to starting the conversation, asking the questions, and walking into this chapter informed, supported, and unbothered.
Her Health Matters 